Thursday, September 22, 2005



"That's when manager Joe Torre heard the crowd roar.
The scoreboard flashed that Tampa Bay had taken an eighth-inning lead against Boston. For only the third night this year, the Yankees went to bed with sole possession of the AL East lead.

We are back and whoopin' some ass! With 11 games left in the season, The New York EFFING YANKEES take first place back, and lead Boston by 1/2 game.


So yes, I am pretty damn happy! YIPPEE YIYE- A COWPATTIE!!

To celebrate, here are some funny ha-ha's that a friend sent me:

Number 5: A man bumps into a Woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221."

Number 4: A businessman boards a flight and is seated next to a gorgeous woman. He notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book. It says that American Indians have the longest penises and Greek men are the best in bed. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?" "Tonto Papadopoulos, nice to meet you."

Number 3: One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

Number 2: Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" "Oh, Bill, you didn't." "Yes, I did." "My! God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" "Oh... she got fired too."

Number 1: A Couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago." "Well," Granny snickered, "Let's relive some old times." Whereupon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago." "I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."


Anonymous Anonymous said...

LMAO...ok so i am convinced that you are nuts..but i like it!

Thu Sep 22, 11:03:00 AM EST  
Blogger Nonsensicallyingenius said...

Congrats on your team!!! My ex-old man is a huge fan of the Yanks. Funny little diddies, too. Have a splendid day!

Thu Sep 22, 11:34:00 AM EST  
Blogger JUST A MOM said...

uuummmm DO YA THINK THE TIGERS HAVE A CHANCE? or maybe the Dimondbacks? heheheheheheeeeeee

Thu Sep 22, 11:59:00 AM EST  
Blogger As always... Rachael said...

Great jokes. My husband was bron and bred in cleveland... so I love the yankees just to piss him off!

WE figth for our son's allegiance, but I know who will win! Irish boys LOVE their mothers! See you in the play-offs!

Fri Sep 23, 01:17:00 AM EST  
Blogger Walking Contradiction said...

You guys made my day,

Fri Sep 23, 04:06:00 AM EST  
Blogger matty said...

I really like your fact I enjoy most posts until I found out you're a Spankees fan. It will come down to next weekend buddy, see you then!

Fri Sep 23, 02:36:00 PM EST  
Blogger JUST A MOM said...

ok Matt another week,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Sun Sep 25, 07:58:00 PM EST  
Blogger JUST A MOM said...

DUDE,,,,, I am gettting tired of waiting!!!!!!!!!!

Mon Sep 26, 02:53:00 PM EST  

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