Friday, December 09, 2005

I Welcome The White Death

Ring ding dingaling, ting bing jingaling toooooooo…….

Cccccoooollllldddd mmmootthhherrrr ffffffuuucckkkerrrrrrrr……..

BY GOD, if it is not Christmasy out, I don’t know what is! We got roughly a foot of snow out, and it is windy as hell, so, you know. It took me at LEAST a half an hour after work before I could leave. SUCK! So, I come home, and we have a snow drift 3 feet high against the garage door. Did I mention I don’t wear a coat? EVER? Seriously, every fucking single day, people coming in, and going out, of work say “Ain’t you cold?”, “Wear’s your coat?”, “Don’t you ever wear a coat?”, “I can give you a coat if you need one”, and so on. So far, my best reply is “Yeah, I’ve never heard that one before”. I am so lame. Fuck them!

By the way, just for the hell of it, I looked online here, and right now it is -2°F.
Did I mention I don’t wear a coat? Yeah, I don’t give a fuck. I don’t like coats. What’s so wrong with that???

Man, the kids totally love the Christmas tree!! She (Angelina), was the first to see it, in the morning, (we put it up the previous night), and she was pointing at it, and she kept on asking “What is that?”. It was SSOOOOO cute! So, then we tell her it’s a Christmas tree, and she goes “WOOOOOOOOOW.”. Just plain adordable, if I do say so myself. And then, they both started heaving their toys at it, and their attempts at entering the notorious “Christmas Tree Triangle of Death”, so far, have been unparalleled by any tedious and nefarious evil deeds they have managed so far, in their very, very, short, (and soon to be extremely shortened) life. You see, we thought it would be best to put a gate around the tree, because we have (VERY JUST) cause to reason that my son would try to climb the tree. He LOVES to climb. Adores it. He climbs on eeffffing everything, and I mean that in the most literal sense. As long as he is high, he is happy. NO, NOT THAT KIND OF HIGH! Well, he is not a teenager yet either.
We defiantly thought it would be best to cordon off the tree. And they SSSSOOOOOOO want to get in that gate to tackle that tree! The cats also enjoy the tree. I have only caught the grey fat one (Meow Meow), just once. I was sleeping on the couch after work, next to the tree with the lights on, and a rustling woke me up. I look over, my glasses were off of course, and I see a blurry grey tail sticking out of the bottom part of the tree. It is waving at me. I yell at him. “GIT!”. “ GIIIIT!!!”. “NOW!”. Nothing. Just a few tail twitches. So I start to get up, and slam my fist against the cushion. “GET DOWN FROM THEIR RIIIIGHT NOW!” That damn cat rustles in the tree, and then drops from under it. He was laying in the tree!!!!! Damn cats!!

Well, I guess I better go shovel some (a SHITLOAD!) of snow. And yes, I will where a coat. Because hey, I am dumb, not fucking dumb.


Blogger JUST A MOM said...

I WANT PICTURES!!!!!! Hey a squirt water bottle will take care of any cat problem!! We used it for sooo many things when we were able to have cats. MAN put a freeking coat on will ya! I realllllyyyyy want snow this year,, GOD can you hear me SNOW this year. Like you did one year remember? OK thanks Matt for your site to pray on ,,,, LOVE YA, well I was thinking He would get the picture if He read your post OK!!!!!!

Fri Dec 09, 11:14:00 AM EST  
Blogger Walking Contradiction said...

That's why your bummed out!!!!
It's not all Christmasy without snow!!! I HOPE you get some, so you can cheer up!!!!!!!!


Fri Dec 09, 11:16:00 AM EST  
Blogger Just Help Me said...

kids make christmas so exciting again. they bring back that feeling you had when you were a little kid on christmas morning. i agree with jaye - come on pictures!!!

Fri Dec 09, 12:39:00 PM EST  
Blogger Nonsensicallyingenius said...

Cats are sons of bitches! Oh wait, no, that's dogs...
Either way, glad to hear the whole house is loving the tree. Way to get over the proud "I don't like coats" bullshit. Do you wear sweaters, or something?!?! I guess as long as you can hang, you know what's up with your body's capabilities. I should get my nose out of your fucking business!!
Have a good one!!

Fri Dec 09, 08:42:00 PM EST  

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