Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Ninth Grade Creative Writing/English Comp. Paper I Found

This is REALLY, REALLY bad!!!!! Sometimes during the semester, our teacher listed a few words on the chalkboard, and we had the entire period to write a story using all of the words. The teacher gave me a 10/10, but man, this stinks! Note that there are about ten thousand grammatical errors, but considering the UN-soberness of my ways back then, I guess the teacher was surprised. I found it while digging through some really old stuff, and here you go:


Words: debris, circumspect, admonish, deadlock, dilemma, spasmodic, salvage


BY: MATT BAKER



Without, the night was cold and wet, but in the smaller parlor of Laburmville the blinds were drawn, and the fire burned brightly. Father and son were at chess, the former, who passed ideas about the game involving radical changes, putting his King into sharp and unneccessary perils that it even provoked comment from the white haired old lady knitting placidly by the fire.

The room was in a deadlock. For a moment there was a complete standstill. Nothing moved, and all could be heard was the cackling of the fire. The father and son, in dilemma because their chess game was becoming quite complicated. Then the old lady, getting sick of hearing the formers ideas of changing the chess rules made a spasmodic shriek of a comment. “Are you a fool”, she asked. “I already admonished you against that move”, she pointed out to the father, “and I’m getting sick of hearing your idiotic ideas of the game. Try to salvage some of what we got left to still have this be a decent game.” The father and son were getting madder every second. The former was so embarrassed, he stormed out of the room saying nothing. Finally, the father, enraged from her outburst, hit the chess board with his fist and set most of the pieces from the game, and some other debris flying across the room like they was just catapulted. Then, she being foolish enough, commented again, “Why did you go and do that for?” Hearing no reply she asked again, “ I asked you a question, are you deaf?” He looked at her, giving no reply, with a look of a psychotic murderer.

“So are you deaf or not”? she still wondered. He then got up, shaking from enragement. “Foolish woman”, he replied, “why must you always squander our fun by nagging at us for how we play”? Then, she being frightened from his sudden and spasmodic uproar, circumspectly answered, “I-I-I’m sorry.” “Oh you will be”, he said, “you will be.” He then walked off in his bedroom, mumbling to himself. His son got up, ran into the same room and shrieked, “Father, NO!” He then replied, “Out of my way boy”, throwing him through the window. He then walked into the room he was in, hiding something to his back. “Here”, she said, “What is that you are hiding?” He said, “THIS!” She saw a giant flash of light, then complete darkness.

She was found almost a week later, stenching from the wrench of her dead carcass. The boy was never seen again, and never was his father. And dear, dear old grandma had a giant hole in her head with half of her brain missing.

7 Comments:

Blogger Just Help Me said...

ok too many big words for me!!! lol and you killed the grandma?!!! man that was way too deep for me. now if it would have been dr. suess i so would have understoood it. lol

Wed Feb 08, 10:04:00 AM EST  
Blogger Lynda said...

It started off well....

Wed Feb 08, 12:26:00 PM EST  
Blogger Walking Contradiction said...

yeah, I thought it sucked also.

Wed Feb 08, 02:32:00 PM EST  
Blogger JUST A MOM said...

COOL, no I am gunna tell you teh same thing I told your wife,,,,, STOP TEH FREEKING YELLIGN AROUDN THSOE BABIES WILL YA,,, DO YOU NOT REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS LIEK WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE LISTENING TO ALL THE SHIT GOIGN ON AROUDN YOU?? STOP IT NOW!! LOVE you,,, mom

Wed Feb 08, 11:43:00 PM EST  
Blogger ~Deb said...

Hmmm,.....scary but a good story to tell around the campfire. :)

Thu Feb 09, 06:09:00 PM EST  
Blogger JUST A MOM said...

OK jut cause the in-laws are in town ,, don't mean you can not post!!!!!!! where are you

Sun Feb 12, 07:58:00 PM EST  
Blogger As always... Rachael said...

you sick little fuck!

THe part that stood out for me was your use of "The former..." Had you just learned that term?

LOL! I'm kidding... it isn't that bad... not nearly as bad as your intro made it sound. If you were actually in high school, it's pretty damned good.

I liked how you wrapped it up so quickly... as if to say, "I used all the words, THE END!"

Enjoyable read... poor grandma though!

Mon Feb 13, 05:39:00 AM EST  

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