I Did It Again
Would you like to know what thing I am really, really, awesome at? Totally fucking things up in my life. My wife. Well, I talked to someone I was to have NO contact with. An ex of mine from a long, long time ago. (It happened also to be in a galaxy far, far, away). I unblocked her from my email, and emailed everyone (including her) the kids Xmas card pics. She sent me hers as well. Well, a few days ago she sent me a link to a house her and her husband are buying. I saved the link in my favorites list, and the house is really nice, they must be doing really well, I thought “good for them” (not in a sarcastic way). Well, she saw the link, and saw the house, and when we were watching the kids, I said something about the house we just moved from last year STILL up for sale. And she must have remembered the link or something because that’s when she brought it up “Why did you save a link to some house in Germantown?" (in Ohio). I told her someone sent it to me. As soon as I said that, she was obviously pissed immediately because she is not stupid. She said “Like who?” And I told her, and she said something like about how she (the ex) was supposed to be blocked on my email. And I said she was. And, she is super pissed, I tried to explain it, I told her why I unblocked her, and she said why did I have any contact with her, and I then realized I really fucked up big time. This has happened a few times. Starting with the 2003 incident. So, I think she is leaving me now. She said she might as well get used to doing things by herself. I know I fucked up. I told her it was completely innocent, but that is not the point that she cares about. She only cares that I had any contact. So, I guess this is it. There is nothing I can do to make this better, no way to fix this fuckup. There is something seriously wrong. I don’t know, well, anything at all. Other than she is leaving me. And it was completely my fault.
posted by Walking Contradiction at 1/11/2006 07:20:00 PM
OH YEAH, and my parents in OHIO are not talking to both of us either. That is a WHOLE OTHER ballgame.
I am not leaionvg. I am just stepping back. I can't trust him as far as I can throw him. Every "promise" he has ever made to me he has broke. I know my kids deserve their dad in their life and I will not denie them that. As for me however I will live here and try to keep the peace that is all I can promise for now.
Oh and if you want the other side of the story you can check out my blog for my side of it.
Man guys... I hope you two can work it out... :(
Well, from reading yours and Angi's blogs, I can see why she would be upset. You said that you unblocked the ex's email. Yet, you didn't tell your wife that you were emailing pictures to the ex. So, when Angi found out about it, of course it is going to seem like you were keeping a secret from her. (Even if your intentions were pure.)
Secondly, she asked you about the house. Instead of coming right out and saying, "I emailed Ex the picture of our kids, and she wanted to show me her new house." you told her someone sent it to you, and then she had to pry it out of you who it was. Again, it is like keeping secrets and have something to hide.
It sounds like you still have some emotions for the ex, (you never forget your first love, after all) but you should be living in the present and be happy with Angi and what you two have. I can understand why Angi feels betrayed.
Is there any way you two can talk to an impartial third party, like a clergyman or marriage counslor? I really think you can work out your differences. It sounds like you might need to practice communicating, but if you want to win back Angi, you need to be open and honest with her, and let her know that she is the only one for you. And don't contact the ex anymore!
Anyway, that is my perception, and I think you can still fix it, Matt. Angi knows you love her.
In my own opinion, having contact with your ex is okay if both parties are 'over one another'.
I have an ex that I speak to. My girlfriend now is okay with it- and my ex's girlfriend is fine with it. We are both with other people---so no threatening situation there.
I think your wife should be more understanding------I don't get it-----your ex is with someone else trying to buy a house together, right?
:-/ I hope that your wife would not leave you for something small like this. Don't give up!
(And thanks for all the comments you left me. When I read the one you left about a life without regrets, I felt really uplifted)
But honestly, one of those regrets in your life should not be that your life got messed up over silly misunderstandings!
Deb~ If you read my side of it. You would get it. Back when this all started. My husband was not just speaking with her as friend. He was writting her Love letters. He was saying things to her that should not have been said by a married man AND he was hiding it.
I feel like this. Those with nothing to hide..HIDE NOTHING!
So while being understanding may seem like a thing I need to be. It's not the case here.
Hey "POOKIE"-
I wrote her a letter in 2003. That was three fucking years ago, we have two kids, live in ANOTHER STATE, and she has 1 kid, and they are buying a $170,000 house. I don't think you have anything to worry about. What is wrong with being friends with her? FRIENDS ONLY. I (as you say) fucked her, yeah back in 1999. This is 2006 GET OVER IT!
She is just a FRIEND. In ANOTHER state. Even IF she wasn't in another state that would not matter, there IS NOTHING between me and her. That was 6 years ago, and three years when I made a mistake, I DID not do anything but write a letter, a VERY hurtfull one to you, I am sure, but, You can not hold that against me for the rest of my life, if you are going to do that, WHY be with me???? It is not fair to BOTH of us to keep bringing up shit that happenned years ago.
Matt,,, Matt,,, Matt,,, you jsut don't get it dolly. It DOES MATTER to HER!!!!! You really need to get your asses out here by me and Val!!!!!!!!! You need to shut your mouth now while you still have one!!
LOVE YOU!!!!!!