Dr. Philfuck Can Drop DEAD!

That about covers it.

Happy Monday!

I hate Mondays, and everything about them!!! (But then, who doesn't???)

Merry Christmas (Sort Of)

We were supposed to get the Christmas stuff up this weekend, (I had 4 days off), but all we did was fight, so oh well.

blah blah blah.....

I am in a dumpy mood. I feel as if life has passed me by. I have not accomplished enough in my life. I feel I should have done more, experianced more. Don't get me wrong, when I look back at things, I have done a whole lot of stuff that a lot of people have not. I just want to do more, experiance more. (SIGH) I know what you (whoever is reading this) are thinking:


SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!! WHO GIVES A SHIT????


Well, I bet that's what your thinking anyways.

Couldn't blame you for thinking that, I wouldn't want to hear myself either.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!

Hey, have a good Thanksgiving!!!!!!!

Watch Video:

NICE GUYS FINISH LAST (Green Day)

Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

Enjoy your football games!!!!! REMEMBER- There is no I in PAIN!!!!

Pop quiz hotshot:


Q: What’s the difference between a turkey, and the drummer from Def Leppard?


A: A turkey has TWO drumsticks!!!



Have a nice one, we’ll see how mine goes, (an ominous sign has approached me, which leads me to conclude today is gonna SUCK!!!)



OH, a BBBIIIIIIIIiIGGGG middle finger to the Mer Fer who was kind enough to put a virus or two on my beloved computer (fucker!).

The Most Nervous Moment In My Life......

The kiddos were just born a few hours earlier. Angi was still recuperating from the C-section. I was scared as shit. Am I prepared for this? YES. Everything is set. Car seats? Check! Bassinet? Check! Mental stability? Aaaawwwww SHIT!

Here are their VERY FIRST pictures ever taken.


WILLIAM MATTHEW JAMES BAKER
BORN ON: 1/02/2004
TIME: 3:18 P.M.
WEIGHT: 3 pounds, 13 oz.
LENGTH: 16. 5 inches

Exactly 6 hours and 5 minutes after he was born:

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a374/goyankees2006/DSC00060.jpg





ANGELINA KAYDENE BAKER
BORN ON: 1/02/2004
TIME: 3:21 P.M.
WEIGHT: 4 pounds, 4 . 5 oz.
LENGTH: 18 inches

Exactly 6 hours and 7 minutes after she was born:

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a374/goyankees2006/DSC00068.jpg



Wedding? PIECE OF CAKE! Funerals? A STROLL IN THE PARK! Beatings? BRING IT ON! Screaming? LOVE IT! Divorce talk? A BLAST!

All compared to what I was feeling as the doctor was ELBOW (literally) deep into Angi, my wife of (presently) almost 6 years, trying to get Angelina out of her (home), as the team of nurses are working on William, new to the world, she was a bit more of a complication. The Doctor struggled (his words), to get her out. She was squished (literally) against the placenta, and 3 excruciatingly looooong minutes later, she came out, with anther team working on her. When I finally got to see them (after they came out, I saw them for about one half of a minute at most, and Angi did not see them AT ALL), I got an up close view, when I first took these pictures. I took a few of him, visited him for a minute (NOT because he was the boy, but because he was first, IF only by 3 minutes), and took a few of her, visited with her, and went back and forth for a bit. Angi, did not get to see them until the next day at 5:30 p.m..

YABBA DABBA DOOOOOOO!

Guess what? It is Friday night, (Sat. morning really), and I am happy!! Ya know why? Cause it’s the weekend of course!!!!!!!


I had a real pisser of a day Friday, but who cares about that now? I don’t! I am in a great mood! Sang my Work Day’s Done song, got home, petted my Meow Meow, read some emails, read some posts, and it turns out, that right now life is good! Got my Green Day fix in (I ripped some cd’s on the computer), and I am now watching Conan. HAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! GUESS who is on tonight? (It’s a rerun) Well, there is Conan of course, and some guests, and get this………………………..GREEN DAY!!!!!!!! OH YEAH!!!!! BRING IT!!!!!!
YABBA DABBA DOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(I am a dork)


We had our first snowfall on Wed. 11.16.2005. Not enough for much accumulation (thank GOD), cause I don’t like to shovel the drive way at 5 o’clock in the morning. Whodathunk? Well, I don’t have much else to say, cause there is not much to talk about. Well, it’s freaking freezing here. BBBRRRRRR! Like around anywhere from 30 to ZERO degrees. ZERO! BLECH! AND BLUCKY!


OH WAIT!!!! There is been a BUNCH of songs I can’t get out of my head! Want me to list them off for you??? JUST KIDDING!!! I won’t bore you with that, but chances are if you are reading this, you are clearly a boring individual.

WANTED: Magical Fairy God Parents

Methinks my betrothed and I have a bit of a quandary. Whilst my elders were blessing me, my betrothed, and our little ones, with their joyous visitation a few moons ago, we have seemed to have arrived at a bit of a conclusion.


My parents are out. They are no longer our children’s GODparents, the ones to take over “parenting” our children in the event of our untimely demise. Why you ask? Well, to put it quite bluntly, my dad is a dick. A big one. An asshole of such proportion, that, if he were to have any say in raising my (our) children, well, I would have to slit my wrists. I guess that would be rather redundant though, since my body would be dead, cold, and decomposing. But, you get my point I suppose. If you don’t, well, start reading some past posts, and you will get it eventually, and if you don’t, well that’s your problem, cause I don’t feel like getting into it at the moment.


Anywho…….


Here is our situation. We now have to find Godparents for our children. What if we die, and then who is going to raise our kids? That is the QUESTION. My parents are out. Her parents are pretty much out. They have no interest in having little ones again. They have had two children, Angi (29) and Cory (30-something). They currently like to travel to Mexico 3-6 times a year. Her dad is el presidente of a company, and her mom stays at home. So they don’t want to raise kids again, who could blame then for wanting to enjoy life finally??? So they are out. I do have an extensive family. Angi’s other relatives are waaaaaaay out. (They got lots of issues, JUST LIKE my relatives!!). So her relatives are out. My relatives are out with a couple of POSSIBLE exceptions. My Aunt Glenda (mom’s sister). She is the “goodie two shoes” of the family. Her family goes to church twice on Sunday, and on Wednesday nights. When their daughter was little, they had nightly “bible study” for an hour or so. They are SUPER nice, and she (Glenda) is so nice she can be rather uuummm…… knieve (unsuspecting to a fault). The problem is two-fold, however.


FOR ONE: Her husband is a dick / asshole / control freak, JUST LIKE MY DAD.


FOR TWO: Every one else in my family (in OHIO) already has them as their children’s godparents. So their plate is rather full, if something else would happen to someone else in the family, and their kids need taken care of also.


SSSSSoooooo they are pretty much out. Then, there are my grandparents (my mom’s mom and dad). They are approaching (or past, I really don’t know) their seventies. My Granny smokes like a freight train, however. She does so much that, the ceilings of her house are yellowy from all the smoking, and your clothes, skin, and the stuff you bring in, will reek of smoke for hours, or days. So they are pretty much out. I DO have however, family in Kentucky, which is from my dad’s side. But they are pretty much out, they have no desire whatsoever to raise anymore kids either. I also have extended family in Arizona also. To say they have a full plate, would be a DRAMATIC understatement. SO, WHAT TO DO????????


Hhhhhmmmmmm……………….


I got to go very soon. I have a dentist appointment at 9:30 am this morning, and it is approaching 5:30 am at the moment, and I need some sleep. (YAWN) When I go to the dentist (I mean Dr. DEATH), I should ask him if he can help me out. I am hoping he can perform a bit of a quick lobotomy. You see, my brain (in my skull) has been really getting on my nerves as of late. For SOME strange reason, it has seem to have taken SOME slight control of my pepe. (Or as I like to call it, THE EARTH SHAKER). My pepe has always had a mind of his own, however very little the size of his mind might be. But for some time now, and more so as time goes on, my pepe (EARTH SHAKER) has taken orders from not his own very little brain, but instead unfortunately, the brain in my skull. Which I consider, a bulky lump of lard. My pepe is a EARTH SHAKER, and a QUAKE MAKER. At least, that is what I tell myself. In the past, girls have told me that it is a ……….uuuummmmm…….. a…….uuuummmm………humph. Instead of going into dirty, dirty details, let me just go ahead and spare you, and tell you what I have said in response to girls’ past reactions to my pepe.


“IT IS NOT THE SIZE THAT COUNTS, IT’S HOW YOU USE IT!!!!!!!”





HHHUUUMMMPPPHHH!!!!!!






HOLY SHNIKEY!!!!!


I got an idea!! Maybe we can take out a newspaper WANTED ad for the kid’s future godparents! Here is what I am thinking:






--WANTED--


*Magical Fairy GOD MOTHER


*Must have extensive experience in raising children. Must not smoke like a freight train. Must not drink like it’s their job. MUST have a magic wand with a star on top of it. MUST wear a tutu with sparkles. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT that the tutu is sparkly, because you can’t be all magical and shit if you are not sparkly (DDDUUUHHH)!!!!! MUST be able to turn mice into horses. MUST be able to turn a pumpkin into a horse-drawn carriage. MUST be able to fix my children an afternoon daily delight of tea and crumpets. -(Whatever the fuck a crumpet is)- MUST be able to, on occasions when my children are in serious trouble, use the magical phrase “BIPPETY BOPPETY BOO” and they will be saved from their devilish, devious, cantankerous trouble they are causing. AGAIN, MUST be able to use the phrase “BIPPETY BOPPETY BOO”, and my children will be rescued!!!!!!



--WANTED--


*Magical Fairy GOD FATHER


*Must not smoke like a freight train. Must not drink like it’s their job. Must not be a fucking asshole, dickhead, and all-around shitty human being.





Hhhhhhhmmmmmmm………..









I (We) am (are) looking forward to ALL of your valuable, and not so valuable, feedback, ideas, and comments. I am not going to post for a bit, so you all can give me (us) some sound, and not so sound, advice, comments, and ideas.



‘NUFF SAID.

Back....in....19.....19.....1999

Angi in 1999, click on pic. She moved into my house (late June of 1999), for about 9 months before we got married. I proposed to her in Sept. 25, 1999, we got married on March 25, 2000.
She pretty much redecorated my whole house when she moved in, which was totally cool with me, just stay out of my baseball room!!! She washed my moldy (LITERALLY) dishes, and we won't even go there with my dirty clothes conditions.
TOXIC.WASTE.DUMP.

Bad KARMA For Everyone!!!!!!!!!

Well, there is just great news all around! A co-worker of mine, Russell Freestone, recently had a bad fire at his place. His big barn completely burned to the ground, and his house suffered bad damage as well, the side, deck, gutters, roof, were damaged, as well as 7 windows. In his barn, he lost a CAR, thousands of dollars worth of tools, 1 kitten, his kids and grandkids baby stuff, his Christmas stuff, and other things. The people in our department, about 50, got a card and signed, and gave him a pool of money. NOT MUCH, by any means, but it is a great deal better than nothing. UNION PEOPLE STICK TOGETHER!!!!! DAMN FUCKING STRAIGHT!!!!!! The boss excused him a couple of days off, and this was his first day back. LUCKILY, his family, wife, kids, grandkids, ALL GOT OUT SAFE!!! THAT is the most important thing by FAR. Our thoughts are with his family!!!!


On to other things, I was eating on break at work, and my temp. crown came loose, and popped back in! FUCKING OUCHIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! MAN that hurt. I popped a darvecet, went to medical dept., and they gave me some stuff to put on a Q-tip, to put on my gum and tooth, that numbed it up. THANK GOD. That helped tremendously! I am going to call the dentist tomorrow, and tell them to GET ME IN DAMN IT!!! Whether they will or not, remains to be seen of course. I still have to get the tooth I had to get a root canal on crowned, and I still have another 3 crowns to get in. PLUSSSSSSSSS, I get to have my wisdom teeth pulled in Feb. SWEET! I got to set the appointment up first, (that might help).


On to other other things, work schedule has changed. Starting in December, we will going back to 8 hours per shift. Now this can be seen in a few different ways. First, this is SWEET! I get to spend more time AWAY from work, which is ALWAYS preferable. Second, this is a bad sign for the industry. On average GM makes about TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS PER TRUCK WE PRODUCE. That is AFTER other costs factored in. Namely, labor, parts, supplies, energy, and everything else. THAT goes STRAIGHT in their pocket. Now, factor in we make 70 TRUCKS PER HOUR. That is $700,000 PER HOUR. Factor in 10 hours a night. That is SEVEN MILLION DOLLARS PER SHIFT. We run 2 shifts, so that is 14 MILLION DOLLARS PER DAY, Monday through Friday, and occasionally a Saturday. NOW, if they cut back to eight hours they only make $11,200,000 per shift. That means GM, which is in NOT very good financial shape at the moment, will have even less money to play with, like in product development, pension funding, and other things. They are doing this, because the U.S. economy is in SHITTY shape, and nobody is wanting a vehicle that makes 10 miles to the gallon, when gas is so high. FOR OUR SAKE, I sure as hell hope that GM starts putting those hybrids out, and fast, or sales will suffer even more. Why should I care you ask???? Did I mention the fact that GM and the UAW are responsible for putting food in my kid’s mouths?


On to other other other things:


*GM misstated '01 income by up to $400 million*


*Oil Company Execs Defend RECORD Profits to Senate*


*Oil Execs Won't Help Lower Energy Costs*


*Japanese Whalers Aim to Double Usual Kill*


*Congo's Hippos Hunted, Eaten to Extinction*





WOOT, WOOT, WOOT. HOLLA!

Hey

Hey, the roof got fixed today. I gotta finish cleaning this room that Angi busted her ass straightening out, or she will start throwing my stuff away, and I DO like my stuff. Toodles!

Okally Dokally!

HI Diddley Ho Neighborinoes!! (I love the Simpson’s!!!!) Just going through mounds of paperwork in the computer room, stuff that Angi and her mom threw in boxes. Gotta put the shit up before Angi gets up though, cause she said she will throw it away if it’s out! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!! I can’t let that happen, cause I keep everydamnthing. Also gotta call the landlady tomorrow (or is it today!?) to get the roof fixed where it got damaged by the winds. Angi called Best Buy on Sunday night, and our camera is at their wherever they sent it too, still all brokey. Can’t take any pictures of the kids…. SSSSUCK!!! We found an old 35mm camera that my mom & dad gave us for our wedding in March 25, 2000. But we just used the last roll of film on Halloween, Can’t wait to get them developed!! Probably should drop it off first though! We ARE finally getting over our colds. We all had a sudden case of projectile snotting. Angi and bubbarooney are all better, and me and poor paffetic sissy is just trying to get over it. Poor little thing. Her little marble nose is just red like Rudolph, all drippy with snotty, and she coughs all the time, and when she does, she starts to cry….. She might go the doctor if she don’t get better in a few days. I have been pretty good, just blowing out parts of my brain through my nose!! NASTY NASTY. Other than that we are just Okally Dokally! Goshfreakindangit though, I wish the dentist would hurry up and get me in, DAMN.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMM………………..
Darvicet goooooooooooooood!
(actually, I am just using one a day, instead of the 5 or 6….. WHOOHOOOO!!!)

THANK YOU SHNOOKUMS!

My wife Angi re-did the computer room with her mom the other day. After my parents from Ohio left Sunday (THANK YOU GOD), her mom from Ohio came here Monday, and stayed until Thursday. They busted ass! I guess they spent like six hours and got some shelves, and some plastic tote things and the room is all shaped up. That was super nice of them! THANK YOU!!!!!!


I am having a great weekend. I am sitting here watching “Fresh Prince of Bel –Air”, getting in touch with my inner black person. Right now, “Will” is washing his car, listening to O.P.P., by Naughty By Nature. I LOVE that song!!! I really like “old school rap” from the 80’s and 90’s. I HATE that shit about smackin’ the bitches, and talkin’ about “ice”. I like the stuff with the good beats. Give me “Baby Got Back”, or “The Humpty Dance”. I really like Snoop Dogg when he was with Dr. Dre, and everything was “Nothin’ But A G Thang”. I also like techno stuff. The rave dance music. I don’t know why, but that shit just makes me want to shake my ass, which I NEVER do!!!! Literally. White boys don’t have rhythm, don’t have anything. NO THANKS.


MAN, it’s raining like a Mer Fer out! I looked out the back window, and all of the kids stuff blew off the back porch, and I don’t know where the hell their shit went. So, I am off to go find their shit, at 4 am, (check local time zones), and it’s still raining, but the wind died down finally,


Hola Frio Noviembre!

Tips On How NOT To Be A Decent Human Being PART TWO

AKA: MUSICAL INTERMISSION
(IT’S ALL ABOUT THE MUSIC, MAN)




Okay, I am not going to lie to you (the reader). This post was originally going to be about my dad. I still got left over pissed off anger from this past weekend. And I mean MAD. MAAAAAAAAAAD. Pissed will not cover it. Angry fucking mad, explosion, nuclear holocaust, blow up, going to explode MAD.








M.A.D.




Well, when I get this mad a certain song pops up in my mind. Because it is all about the music, man. I love music. LOVE IT. So when I am THIS mad, THIS angry, THIS flipping pissed thee eeef off, this song makes me feel better. This song is very, very, hard and fast. It WILL offend just about everyone. BUT THAT IS WHY I LOVE GREEN DAY SO MUCH. They will offend anyone, speak their mind about anything, no matter who or what you are, IT IS ALL ABOUT THE MUSIC.





Well, circumstances have changed just a bit. And being the person that I am, or at least am TRYING TO BE, when circumstances change, I must change with them. So MOM IN ARIZONA, (I love you by the way), this song is DEDICATED TO YOU. Well, not directed at you OF COURSE, but a certain you know who dad of a certain you know who boy, who is going out with a certain you know who’s daughter. WE LOVE YOU MOM!

"Platypus (I Hate You)"


Album: Nimrod
Written by: Billie Joe Armstrong


Your rise and fall
Back up against the wall
What goes around is coming back and haunting you
It's time to quit
Cause you ain't worth the shit
Under my shoes or the piss on the ground


No one loves you and you know it
Don't pretend that you enjoy it or you don't care
Cause now I wouldn't lie or tell you all the things you want to hear.
Cause I hate you
Cause I hate you
Cause I hate you
Cause I hate you


I heard your sick
Sucked on that cancer stick
A throbbing tumor and a radiation high
Shit out of luck
And now your time is up
It brings me pleasure just to know you're going to die


No one loves you and you know it
Don't pretend that you enjoy it or you don't care
Cause now I wouldn't lie or tell you all the things you want to hear.
Cause I hate you
Cause I hate you
Cause I hate you
Cause I hate you


Dickhead, Fuckface, cock smoking, mother fucking, asshole,dirty twat, waste of semen, I hope you die


HEY


Red eye, code blue
I'd like to strangle you
And watch your eyes bulge right out of your skull
When you go down
Head first into the ground
I'll stand above you just to piss on your grave


No one loves you and you know it
Don't pretend that you enjoy it or you don't care
Cause now I wouldn't lie or tell you all the things you want to hear.
Cause I hate you
Cause I hate you
Cause I hate you
Cause I hate you








P.S. (WHEW) OKAY I FEEL A LITTLE BETTER NOW!!!!!!!


And that is ‘fo shizzle my nizzlez.

Tips On How NOT To Be A Decent Human Being PART ONE

AKA: THE INSTRUCTION BOOKLET
ON HOW TO BE A FUCKING DICK



This is, folks, what transpired this past weekend, Friday, 10.28.05 thru Sunday 10.30.05. It of course involves my mom, dad, and brother, Justin, ALL FROM OHIO. OF COURSE, the following just counts what my dad was pleasant enough to bless us with, his true person. A mean, selfish, bastard. I am still trying to mentally get myself out of my shell after these couple of days......






1. You call my autistic brother (Justin), a “Death Sentence”, and that he will never go away.


2. You tell Justin, that if he don’t quit trashing your house, then he will be homeless.


3. You tell Justin, that if doesn’t behave, he will be sent to an institution.


4. You tell Justin, “Stop acting like a retard”.


5. You look at my mom with disgust, and snottily tell her “ your stomach is hanging out”, when all she was doing was laying on the couch, and the bottom of her shirt showed her stomach a tiny little bit. (She is VERY skinny by the way)


6. You throw my mom’s car keys at MY front door, at MY wife and mother, because they were not taking the car you wanted them too.


7. You bitch and fucking moan about how many hours my mom works while you thumb through and point out a 2006 Honda Goldwing, which is priced at $24,000. (He has 2 motorcycles currently by the way)


8. You kick MY kid’s shit around on the floor, because you are pissed that you have to inflate Justin’s mattress, so he can sleep ON THE FUCKING FLOOR, and you give us an inflatable mattress as “our” Christmas present, which is for Justin, and we will never, ever, ever, use, EVER.


9. You have my mom throw your stupid ass house slippers OVER MY KID’S head, and nearly hit one of MY kids, making me want to snap your fucking neck.


10. You call ME, a man who is 27 years old, been married for 5 years, has 2 year old twins, owned 3 houses, and owned innumerable cars, suv’s, trucks, a KID, in a demeaning way, no joking at all. AGAIN, making me want to snap your fucking neck. The only thing kid like about me, is how I still act when I am around you, and how you still treat me.


11. I hear from my wife how you snatched MY kid from MY wife’s arm shitty like, because my wife was trying to keep both of OUR kids behaving, again making me want to snap your fucking neck.


12. You give me a 45 minute lecture about money, and retirement, and to stop pissing MY money away, because my job will soon be gone, even you don’t know what the fuck your talking about. YOU HAVE NO ROOM TO TALK.


13. You comment, and ask, “what are you doing” while I am on the computer, and say “I really need to clean this room up” (computer room), while I am trying to do it, and ask if I need help, WHICH I REPLIED NO, and you proceed to “help” by shoving newspapers that I was keeping, into a trash bag, even though I SAID NOT TO. AGAIN, making me want to snap your fucking neck.


14. You slap your hands together at my mom, like a FUCKING DOG, or maybe a three year old, and tell her to get up, put her pajamas on, and brush her teeth, because she is laying on the couch, MINDING HER OWN FUCKING BUSINESS, and she shouldn’t be laying around, and she needs to go to bed.


THAT IS ENOUGH FOR NOW…………..
TO BE CONTINUED……………..
AT SOME OTHER TIME.